My College Search (crashing down) paper

I never believed in “the feeling” until I stepped onto Taylor’s sun-bathed campus one November 99 evening, but from that day on, Taylor University became the light at the end of my homeschool-high-school tunnel: I just knew it was where I belonged. I spent Summer 2000 there, and I loved it all the more. Though the cost was high, I clung to the oft-spoken adage, “Never choose a college based on finances” . . . Until February 2001 came – and brought financial “aid” reports. And the very tunnel came crashing down. “Have you ever felt abandoned? / So lost that you were stranded? / Just like all the walls were closing in and you were left inside.” When in Doubt became my mournful song as I kicked at the rubble and could only wonder “WHY.” I could not move on – the situation was too confusing, with most other colleges’ deadlines having passed, none of the 25+ private scholarships providing any return, and with even my fallbacks falling back for various reasons. Everything had fallen.

I tried to put the pieces together, as I clung to every one of the fallen stones of the path to Taylor, refusing stubbornly to change my mind’s direction. Time was passing. April showers beat me to the ground. And finally I realized the only direction I could go was down. Letting go of all I’d held onto, I fell to my knees. There, God began to speak and I began to listen. I lingered among the muck and rubble, confessing that even if God calls me to stay here yet another year, simply hanging by a moment with him, there’s no place I’d rather be. Though I knew not where I was going, or where or when or whether God would rebuild my tunnel, or where it would end when he did,